Pride…

I’m trying to love myself,
Without loving myself,
Too much.
One of mankind’s,
Biggest demises is,
That we often lose touch.
Addicted to the rush,
Of self loathing,
Buried deep beneath,
Confidence clothing.
……
Do I got;
Big pride or,
Big passion?
I don’t fuckin’ know..
Why do you,
Think I’m askin’?
Lately; I’ve been,
Missing in action,
They’ve been,
Trying to reduce me,
Like fractions.
Well; It ain’t that simple.
It’s too bad,
You can’t simplify,
Your kinfolk.
I must say though,
They’ve got me inspired,
To be the reciprocal.
Maybe one day,
I can inspire them,
To live whimsical,
But; What about,
Being a symbol?
Can I handle,
Being the example,
When I’m still so sinful?
After all;
Every artist will tend,
To misplace their utensils.
I mean; I don’t know fate,
Life to me is still suspenseful.
I’m still;
Searching for answers,
Battling cancers,
Every time I kill demons,
It feels like;
They get brought back,
By necromancer’s.
Something deep inside,
Tells me to kill my masters,
And run the jewels when,
I get truly plastered.
I rise above;
Only to watch myself,
Fall quite faster.
This pride’s a nightmare,
Deviant shadow caster,
Which carves up,
This;
Alabaster bastard.
Please;
Save your prayers,
For the pastor.

Oh how I;
Fight the urge,
As I try;
Not to self splurge.
Temptation’s,
On that purge,
Of my courage.
Lord knows that,
I’m malnourished,
Unflourished;
Dying in toxic soil,
Crowned with turmoil,
Guess the king’s royal.
Trying not;
To let my blood boil,
If I fail;
My existence,
Could spoil.
I fear my words,
Could be Tesla’s coil,
Wrapped up in tin foil,
Conducting the heat,
Of victories so sweet.
I’m quite confident,
Yet still so imcomplete.
I either kill to compete,
Or suffer defeat.
I’d rather walk miles,
Upon miles,
With bloody feet,
Flesh scraping,
Against the concrete,
Than to accept,
The receipt of your seat,
These are just my,
Trust issues on repeat.
I can pull mine alone,
And if not; Then that’s,
A problem of my own.
But respect,
Best get shown,
When this;
Passion get blown.
Or maybe pride,
Is prone;
To overtake,
The throne.
Perhaps;
Passion ruled,
Then got turned,
To stone; Medusa’s,
Ringing up my phone.
The real me’s,
Too afraid to leave home,
So instead I send my clone.
They say pride,
Has mirrored eyes,
&;
Can reflect stone,
With confidence,
So secure,
It could replace bone.
It can even replace you,
If you spend to long,
In the safe zone.

Oh; Oh whyy..
Can’t I..
Overcome my..
Pride..
I wanna try,
But;
Also wanna die.
I wanna hide,
But also,
Split my life,
Open wide,
With knives inside,
Everybody’s watching,
Guess I better look alive.
Maybe I wasn’t there,
Maybe I didn’t care,
Or;
Even have the time,
To share.
All alone when,
I break to pieces.
Too selfish,
And;
That’s my thesis.
Succumbed to pride,
But;
It’s my mind,
That defeats this.
Cause’ without love,
You;
Cannot complete bliss.

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