the wall around my eyes

Taking a look
Back into my life
Went through so many changes
Like a glass mirror maze
I’ve been tripping on myself like this
One things been constant
I’m alone and I’m a fucking mess
It doesn’t matter how deep in the truth
I go
It doesn’t matter who I am today or before
It doesn’t matter that I’m awake – by definition of this word
I fray
Now I have all this knowledge
Now I’m just a shell – drawn out – not by my freehand
Fuck it
The universe eats the best ones alive quicker
1, 2, 3
Feels like I’m headed down a slippery slope
I see
These words I’m writing down
Is it for me?
Is this me?
Is it for you?
it doesn’t matter. My eyes saw it first, but you have two also
These twists and turns only take me farther
From you or her or anyone else in this world
Why bother
Still the world spins round me like I’m the center
Still thousands are being killed, raped, and plundered
Still millions sit and ask their captors for their oppression
So close to each opposite, I’ve been just outside the surface
I just want to be a kid again. Create and experience. A time when I wasn’t aware and connected
to the other billions
That are just like me.
I know you feel this
I can’t keep on pretending
I have a decision
This is what the grey looks like
It’s hard to keep on refraining
Don’t bother
Just another moment and I could be a lot happier?
My moods changes, just as my cells are dying
millions by the second – said the best scientific theories
you can’t isolate symptoms. I am a culmination
Life’s a big fucking metaphor isn’t it?
I prefer to not be alone. And have someone else infiltrating
have one other – to be like and we can make it.
Have the world in our minds – constantly synthesizing
Honestly? Its like I’ve been on an island
Amnesia of my past, I’ve been sucked into it for years – I must be long gone away on my island
Castaway, I’ve learned to talk to my surroundings
even around others – I’m still alone and they know it
The time alone. Has always been the hardest
And it’s this time I have the most
And it has always
Just ask my liver
Just ask my lungs
Just ask my subconscious – he’s an amazing person
The universe likes to eat the best ones quicker

One thought on “the wall around my eyes

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