This Town …

The people in this town take anyone with any good in them, anyone who can be used and manipulated and destroy any trace of humanity and use them up before they even have a chance to breathe or realize what happened. I think some never even do realize it happened. I just can’t take anymore of how people are here. Of how COMPLETELY devoid of anything good and genuine and true they actually are. Every nice interaction or seemingly good or genuine act is just that, an act, a measure used to gain something for themselves. They are just going thru the motions someone would expect and then they pounce and take and after so many times they are left so damaged and so numb from trying to protect themselves that they don’t even feel for the people they are about to hurt or feel themselves slipping as they become the ones manipulating and waiting to pounce. And it’s not just a few people here and there. It’s practically everyone and all on different levels so it’s a never ending spiral downward, worse and worse so there’s no real safe place to turn. Ever. No matter which level you’re at. So there’s almost no real chance out. I cant do it anymore. I just can’t. My own minds protective measures and protocol cant keep up. And my heart and soul can’t keep experiencing this reality that shouldn’t exist. I feel lucky my brain is different but also scared because I won’t slip into the numb blindness that they do and what has to be blissful ignorance because if they knew or realized and truly saw themselves now, they wouldn’t be able to come back from that. It would destroy even the shell of themselves they had left. I could never be like them. But, I fear what will happen to me, within me if I stay and I can’t chance that.

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