aLone…

All alone,
Upon the loners throne.
Filled with feelings,
Because heart is home.
It’s all I own,
And it’s turning to stone,
I can feel it seeping,
In my bones,
And they wonder why,
I’m out my zone.
I typed Web MD up,
Into Google Chrome,
Searched;
The side effects,
On my cell phone.
Got the liquor,
Along with my chaser,
In styrofoam.
These are not habits,
That I condone,
But I’m caught in the machine,
And the seeds are sown.
Alone I be;
On the path that’s shown,
Wandering into the unknown.

All these happy couple’s,
And;
All their happy faces,
They get to hold each other,
And;
Travel to different places.
On a pursuit of love,
But;
I keep tripping over,
Untied laces.
Guess;
It was never,
In my good graces.
Endless chases,
And;
Restless paces,
I feel like the horse,
That never wins,
Any races.
If you’re looking for me,
I reside within my,
Empty spaces,
Haa!
Who am I kidding,
No ones searching for moi.
I guess this is how it ends,
That coup de grâce.
My motivation is like,
A fat kid on a see-saw,
I mean;
Who on earth,
Could love these flaws?
Tell me how I got em’,
Because;
I don’t know the cause,
I just feel the effects.
Please Lord,
I just wanna connect,
Tell me what I gotta do,
And I’ll interject.
Light me up,
I’ll be that pyrotech,
I wanna feel that fire,
Within my heart,
Shoot through my neck,
Into my brain,
Despite the retrospect.
I mean; What the heck,
Do you expect?
I was created much less,
Than imperfect.
When people get too close,
They see the true train wreck.
On their radar,
I’m just a dust speck.
Like a math book,
In the class of,
An English subject,
I’m just not,
What they need.
Told ya;
I’m somewhat,
Of a different breed.
But damnit,
I will succeed.
If I’m gonna keep up,
I need more legs like,
A millipede.
Silly me;
To ponder these,
Memories.
Switch them around,
To puzzle myself,
A fantasy.
Loneliness,
The unscrewed,
Sanity;
Where my darkest thoughts,
Have banished me.

Everyone I know,
Just let’s me down.
I’m the item that’s lost,
But never found.
Feelin’ like a tin can,
Always kicked around.
I get crushed,
Like coffee grounds,
Every morning.
I wake up to my life,
Ferociously storming.
To the east I feel,
A new front forming,
And it’s slowly swarming.
Not sure if I can,
Outswim the down pouring,
Just like that;
My confidence packed up &,
Left without any warning,
Whatsoever.
What good is the view,
When I hate the weather?
They say time,
Makes everything better,
But I feel like they’re,
Just plucking feathers,
They don’t want me,
At their get togethers,
And this is why,
I choose to completely sever.

Could someone really love me?
Could they?
Could someone really love me?
Could they though?
Cause;
I wanna know.
Cause;
I wanna know,
That I’m not aLone. 

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