unWritten…

Never been much for the talkin’.
Back in high school,
Had all the cliques gawkin’,
Wondering why;
I was withdrawn so often.
They said I was hollow,
Nailed into my own coffin.
If you must know,
I’ve been all in my mind.
Putting lead to paper,
And letting it grind.
I was wound up tightly,
Needed some way to unwind.
Like my notebook,
I was in a bind.
Too busy trying to find,
Answers;
On mountains I’ve climbed,
When really;
I held them inside.
I was asleep,
With my eyes open wide.
I let the paper,
Cut into my soul.
I wanted to bleed,
Out the visuals,
Of my vices that,
I allowed to fill the holes,
Within my conceptual,
Take on reality,
To become more physical,
But then came sacrifice,
Dilution of mentality.
Manuevering this world,
Guided by irrationality,
Until I scripted my fears,
Into written fallacies.
Forced myself to face,
My own mortality,
And found immortality,
Instead.
What will live on forever,
Is the knowledge trapped,
Within my head.
I could keep it to myself,
But I found it more useful,
To spread.
I’ll have plenty of time,
To retain my feelings,
When I’m dead.
To me;
These words,
Are therapy.
Fight the fears,
Scaring me.
Depressions,
Tearing me,
To shreds.
I was screwed up,
Beginning;
To unthread.
Bills;
Breaking my bread,
Popping meds,
Letting anger paint,
My world red.
I’ve learned;
It’s not about the words,
But about what’s said,
The feeling behind the thoughts,
Not the ideas that,
Are force fed;
To us like babies,
And maybe,
I let my fixation,
On writing drive me crazy,
But what artist isn’t a little bit?
There’s always a dark side,
To a man filled with wit.
They’re the brightest lightbulbs,
In world dim lit.
They have the tools to change,
What they’ve deemed to be unfit.
They bleed artful truth,
When arteries get slit.
Scars are stories stitched,
Into the fabrics we knit,
So let the blood drip,
Onto the page.
Mind over matter,
Is the battle we wage.
The body;
Is merely a cage,
For the soul,
In this digital age.
The essence of life,
Is a ever-changing phase.
Can’t seek heaven,
Buried alive in the grave.

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