Ocean…

Lost;
Somewhere in the ocean.
Currents;
Got me moving,
Through the motions.
Exploring;
Different feelings,
Different potions.
Instead of sippin’,
I’m soakin’.
The beast inside,
Has awoken.
Translating thoughts,
Into speech ill spoken,
But these words,
Got me chokin’.
Floatin’;
Hopin’ I can repair,
Everything about me,
That’s broken,
By smokin’, tokin’ herb.
I try to maintain but,
Life keeps pokin’ at my nerves.
I just wanna be free,
I just wanna feel superb,
My enthusiasm needs a curb,
I hit the curve;
And then I swerve.
A prisoner;
To this life sentence I serve.
Proof;
That there was poverty,
In the suburb.
Now I’m trying to,
Make a living off of,
Adjectives & verbs,
Reading proverbs,
Whenever I needed,
God’s word;
To lift me back up,
With the birds.
No wings;
They said my dreams,
Were absurd.
These accusations were,
Half the reason,
My words stayed slurred,
Half the reason,
My drinks stayed stirred,
Half the reason,
My vision stayed blurred,
Livin’ off my lust,
Because;
My passion still burned,
Chasing the wrong things,
That my heart yearned.
I may have lived,
But I never learned.
I knew my sins but,
I was never concerned.
Felt like I was,
Stabbed in the gut,
Then the blade turned.
With pain;
Comes wisdom earned.
Drifting through life,
Swimming like sperm.
Allowed my sorrows,
To burrow like worms.
So selfish; I wouldn’t accept,
Unless they agreed to my terms.
Now I’ve found my message,
And I spread it like germs.
Grippin’ the pencil firm,
Touching subjects,
That might make you squirm.
Mainly because,
This some truth that,
You just can’t handle.
I can relate because,
I’m writing about my youth,
My proof;
My days as a heathen,
As a vandal.
Family watched as,
My potential;
Burnt up like a candle,
Another child;
In a cracked picture frame,
Sitting on the mantel.

I was in desperation,
Seeking renovation,
Never fit the registration,
Soul in need;
Of a rejuvenation,
Trying to strengthen my mind,
Without resorting to the medication,
That californication,
Gotta trade it in for meditation.
They tried;
To take my pride,
Like castration,
Who ever cared about,
My evaluation?
No salutations for,
This future incarceration,
Death row inmate,
On trial;
Heading for decapitation,
But falsely accusing me,
Led to my consultation.
The darkness met illumination,
Allowed myself to fight,
The evil connotations in my blood.
Floating;
With the sharks in the flood,
Still standing;
Despite the nails in my stud.
Just watch;
I’ll still rise like,
Smoke from the bud.
I’ll be that flower,
That grew from the mud,
Coming to you live & unplugged.

Tryin’ to be cool,
Feels like;
Drownin’ in a pool,
Of judgements,
And acceptance from fools.
Like home improvement,
It’s time for tools.
I’m sinkin;
My thoughts thinkin’,
But at least,
I got the jewels.
I know the way,
But defy rules.
Makes no sense,
I know;
Adrift with such,
A long way to go,
Feet tugged by,
The undertow.
Been this way since,
Sand turned to snow.
Time frozen over,
And still;
Got nothing to show.
Damn.

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