Hollow…

Poppin’ Oxy,
And Adderall,
Then I intensify,
With alcohol.
Poppin’ Vicodin,
And Methadone,
Hoping these pills,
Will take me,
Outta my zone.
Poppin’ Xanax,
And Percocet.
Poppin’ all these pills,
But I still ain’t found my,
Purpose yet.
My veins;
Are dripping morphine,
Sprite;
Mixed with codeine.
Sittin’ around,
Just hoping,
This the right method,
Of coping…
Compacted white powder,
With a poisonous coating,
No reality;
I’m just constantly floating,
Away.

You ever;
Just felt so hollow?
You ever;
Just sit around & wallow?
You could end your life,
Right now;
With just one swallow,
A handful of pills,
And a chaser to follow.
I think about it,
Almost all the time.
Deep down,
I know there’s something,
Very wrong with my ill mind.
Searching for myself,
But I’ve;
Become so hard to find.
Where did I go wrong…
Let’s put the VHS on rewind.
I’ll take you back,
To the old days.
Let me give you insight,
Into my old ways.
So far gone,
Still walking through,
That old maze.
Until the smoke clears,
I’ll be peering through,
The purple haze.
Fallen from grace,
As my ashes blaze.
Cycling through my thoughts,
Just trying to,
Keep up with the craze.
Wondering if this is real life,
Or if;
This is just a phase.
I just want it all to go away…
No…
No I can’t let go.
All this pain,
It was meant to,
Help me grow..
Take all my demons,
And put on a show.
Give everyone hope,
By letting;
My darkness glow.
I may be drowning,
But the water still flows.
Fighting my woes,
Has kept me on my toes.
I may not understand,
But I know that God knows,
What’s best for me,
It seems crazy,
But one day maybe,
I’ll see,
This little thing,
Called destiny.
My life is falling to pieces,
But I know;
The Lord’s just testing me,
Training me;
To be a soldier.
Gotta wake up,
Pour a hot cup of Folgers.
Use my strength,
To remove this weight,
Of boulders;
That’s been crushing,
My shoulders.
I see now;
From the eyes,
Of the beholder.
I have the fire,
Within;
A world that,
Only grows colder.
I get wiser,
The more I get older.

I was hollow,
But now I’m fueled.
To learn my lessons,
I had to get schooled.
Owned my challenges,
Grabbed my scepter,
Now I rule.
Did the mechanics,
Without any tools.
Backstroked,
These swimming pools,
Did laps;
Around these helpless fools.
Robbed the Smithsonian,
For all it’s royal jewels.
Vanquished my demons,
And all these ghouls.
Dropped my journey,
For acceptance,
Why be cool,
When I can just be happy?
Drugs are what kept,
My life crappy.
Wore a frown on my face,
Now I’m like laffy taffy.
Can’t let my pitiful ways,
Trap me anymore.
This;
I am very sure,
Disperse my dark energy,
And bring light within my core.
I’ve lock picked the door,
To infinite possibilities.
Released everything,
That’s been killing me.
Let go of;
The things that,
Left me feeling guilty,
Started believing in,
My own abilities,
Ran with agility,
I hope you find truth,
Within my personal soliloquy.
Put down the dope,
Realign your chi,
Let your third eye see,
Allow yourself to be free,
Finally;
I know I’m,
Destined to be,
A better me.

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